Cedar chips for August 5

• We all hate No Child Left Behind.
  
  It's panned in the media, on right-wing radio, on NPR (the most listened-to radio station in Portland, by the way).
  
  Not many people can say why though — so here's NCLB in a nutshell:
  
  Every subgroup of every school most show improvement every year from the prior year's test scores. So if your school finishes with 98% passing in 2007, and only gets 97% in 2008, guess what?
  
  You're nonproficient.
  
  And, if, God forbid, your test scores slip back to 90%, you're really in deep stuff. (Big O)
  
  It's just too bad we can't do the same thing to the presidency.
  
  If the President can't improve his approval rating after two years, Americans have the right to transfer to another country and W has to work on a improvement plan.
  
  After three years, Americans have to be supplied with supplemental services, maybe tax cuts for the not-so-rich.
  
  After four years, W's got to take corrective action, like firing cabinet secretaries, not taking August off in Crawford, or shooting Dick Cheney out of a cannon.
  
  And after five years of sinking ratings, the White House must be taken over by Congress. Or Canada. 
• Another of the Bushies' operating philosophies: people are responsible for themselves. This goes for the disabled, too. Get jobs, folks. God gave you gifts. Use 'em. (Big O)
• Daughter of editor at Califoregon suburb gets bright idea, decides to go without a car in the most car-free-able city in the West, gets on CNN for it. If only it were that easy for the rest of us. (Calumbian)
• Speaking of columnists in the suburbs, ag county wingnut Hanoi Jayne writes a column which apparently nobody decided to check for accuracy. (Ag County Weekly)
• Califoregon suburb paper talks to senator, discovers that federal highway funding comes from gas tax, of which people are continually paying less. Of course, by the time we do something about it, every car will get 60 mpg,  and there will be exactly 70 cents in the federal budget for the I-5 bridge project. (Calumbian)
• But at least it'll be in the federal budget. (Calumbian)
• Unless these hippie nutsies can stop it. (Weekly Superfund)
• Meanwhile, in free weekly land, more hippie nutsies propose union to push for a fareless system on TriMet. Which is kind of like suggesting that we should suspend the gas tax. (Distant Stranger)
• Good thing a writer for the DS has a blog. I bought some George Michael on my iPod last Thursday and have been wondering for five days whether that makes me gay. Seriously. (Matt Davis Opens His Mouth)

License to (be) ill

ACTIVISTS IN THE IMMIGRATION BATTLE hooped and hollered about a victory last week after DMV numbers came out showing that the number of Hispanics going to the DMV is down. Way down.

According to the McPaper down in Salem, the DMV has administered 65 percent fewer tests in Spanish since January, and a 3.3 percent decline in the overall number of licenses issued.

The rejoicing could be heard pealing out of GOP homes from Hillsburrito to Felony Flats. "Hooray! We beat those slimy brown bastards! They took our jerrbs!" (Art imitating life) (Life imitating art)

But for all the stories on this — both the McPaper version and the processed TV versions — the word "insurance" appears in no stories.

I mean, I would think that if someone was finding that the number of licensed motorists was going down... perhaps the number of UNlicensed motorists was going up?

And if there's no licenses, how can there be insurance for those drivers?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the Mexicans haven't stopped coming to Oregon just because they can't get a drivers license. The weather's great, there's plenty of work for them, and they're probably treated better than they are in Des Moines or Tulsa.

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OF COURSE, that's the unintended consequence most likely to impact you and I. But the MSM instead honed in on little old divorced ladies who have to prove that they are who they are. Because, you know, they might be illegal immigrants or terr'ists or something.

But $221 isn't all that bad. Licenses were cheap here to begin with. It's just a shame that money isn't going to the state of Oregon's coffers.

Oregon's Open Source Government usually does a pretty fine job of crafting laws and regulations that are full of something for everyone. So it's surprising to see that little old ladies got overlooked.

But I have yet to see white folk lining up to take jobs at the berry farms in the valley. Wait... nevermind.

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BUT HOW ABOUT we just get this crazy babe off the road instead? Did she have valid ID when she tried to get a license?

Cedar chips for August 1

Notes from soggy Little Beirut for a Friday...

• Big O decides to get on green bandwagon, make almost every story in today's paper about environmental somethingoranother. I think the Trib tried that. It was called Sustainable Life. I think it might be Web only now.
• Various interests say "Buy local! Don't take the cheap imports!" Except we're not talking about Oregon farmers complaining about Chilean strawberries, we're talking about Mexicans not buying Oregon Christmas trees, so this time, it's different. Cursed brown people. Always selling us cheap imports and wanting to buy local. How dare they. (Big O)
• Editor at Portland's Weekly Broadsheet Magazine out. (WWire) Trailblazers plan Dwight Jaynes "Smash the Bobblehead Day" for opening night.
• Natives near Astoria might get reservation, immediately begin planning water park/ski resort/casino/hotel/spa/LNG terminal for reservation. (Columbian)
• A few months ago, wingnut Glenn Beck wrote in a column that we should be taxing higher education endowments because colleges do nothing but raise liberals. (Wingnut Express) And when OHSU can't afford to finish its research into curing alcoholism (Trib), darnit, at least we'll have our tax money, right? Wait, alcoholism costs the state of Oregon how much?
• On an unrelated note, Schlitz is coming back. (Big O)